France on Friday
AN INTERVIEW WITH ALEXANDRA GRABBE
Alexandra Grabbe
Alexandra Grabbe married a French man and moved to Paris as a young woman. She stayed in France with her husband and children until their divorce, and then lived there with her 2nd husband before returning to the United States to run Chez Sven, a green B & B on Cape Cod, in Massachusetts.
In the 1990′s she published a book of essays about her experiences from 1970 to 1995. The writing is delicious, spunky, and evocative of the France that changed even as she did.
She survived the cuisine competition by relying on Julia Child, became a shopping and fashion expert (the scarves oo-la-la) and mastered the art of picking Camembert.
Alexandra Grabbe: France has changed a lot since 1970. For instance, CNN did not exist when my first child was born. I had to work at getting English into my kids’ lives. Records, books, playmates, American au pairs, trips to Cape Cod every summer.
At the same time, their father was French, so I was trying to act French. Paris seems like a very romantic place to live, but adjusting to a foreign culture is not easy. You get all these curve balls thrown at you.
At one point in the early eighties, I had a volunteer job [in a radio station]. The station was looking for a program director/manager. I applied and was told, “You are obviously qualified, but you’re American, and a woman. I can’t hire you.” [She lost another job because she rejected a sexual proposition from the boss.]
So, I started doing volunteer work at my daughters’ international school instead. I joined American Wives of Europeans. I sought out American friends. I was on the PTA and edited the American Section Newsletter for five years.
In my head, I had already moved back. I never fit into France. The USA felt like an old shoe, rediscovered at the back of a closet, and so incredibly comfy.
Q: Do you ever get homesick for Paris?
A.G.: Yes. I miss the beautiful old buildings. For two years, after my divorce in 1989, I did relocation [finding homes for people who had moved to Paris] so I knew the nicer neighborhoods quite well. I loved choosing apartments for American businessmen.In the nineties, I worked as editorial assistant to Barbara Chase-Riboud and got to look out over the Luxembourg Gardens every morning while we discussed the day’s schedule.
Also, when I lived in St. Germain with Sven, my second husband, we would take the RER [the Paris Metro] into the city on Saturdays, arriving at the top of the Champs or Les Halles, and enjoy a museum, then a movie, and finally dinner.
Q: What, if anything, do you miss from those days?
A.G.:
- The sophistication. Some rubs off on any American who spends time there.
- Open-air markets.
- Cheese shops.
- The level of competency most people have in the kitchen.
- Wine culture. I remember once my ex-husband’s godfather went to his wine cellar and produced a bottle of Bordeaux from 1947, the year I was born.
- Movie culture: people talk with admiration about directors, not actors.
- I used to speak French well enough to have my own radio show. I don’t speak it very often anymore. I miss the feel of the language.
Q: Have you been tempted to write a book about your experiences living anyplace else?
A. G.: I actually have written a novel set in France but am not ready to publish it yet. I’ve also finished a narrative non-fiction manuscript that describes what is a foreign country to most of us: extreme old age.
Thanks to Alexandra, for giving us a taste of France. And if you would like to see her book, French Graffiti, look on her web site for how to order.
PDF Tags: B & B, BlogSherpa, Cape Cod, Chez Sven B & B, France, Paris
Twitter: WanderingEds
says:
great interview – i’ll have to get it!
.-= jessiev´s last blog ..A Winter Lakeland BreakAway =-.
It’s interesting to read of another person’s experience as a stranger in a strange land…and the ups and downs of acclimating. The foreign country of extreme old age is an apt metaphor – and hopefully something that can be navigated more easily than the Metr
So interesting to read. I think I would feel the same way living there. It must have been fascinating though.
Great interview Vera. No, I had no idea that Alexandra spoke French let alone lived in France for many years. I’ve always been fascinated with thoughts of living in Paris. I have been to France but never found my way to Paris.
Thanks for the small snapshot into living abroad. Interesting.
judy
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Twitter: mykidseatsquid
says:
While I don’t know much about French culture, having only spent time there navigating my way through the Louvre and getting lost on the metro, I miss the European way of going out to eat. You sit for hours at a restaurant, leisurely making your way through a meal and talking the whole time. I spent time abroad studying in Austria and especially this time of year I miss the sights and sounds. In Vienna they would roast chestnuts and potatoes on the street in these big metal drums that looked like overturned trash cans. I finally sampled, chestnuts that had been “roasting on an open fire” (not too tasty), but the crisp potatoes were amazing.
.-= ReadyMom´s last blog ..All I want for Christmas… =-.
I loved reading this. I have a love-hate relationship with France and have often thought of moving to Paris and often wished I could spend a year there with my children so they could learn French. My oldest daughter speaks French without an American accent though this year she has lost a lot of it because we haven’t been doing enough to keep it up and she has no one to talk to in our small town in southern Oregon. I used to talk to her in French when she was little and one of her first words was “Voila.” Since my husband isn’t French (he’s of Italian descent) and I’m not a native speaker, it’s hard. Everything Alexandra describes missing about living in Paris I totally miss too. I’ve lived in Francophone West Africa but not in France (for more than 2 months anyway) but there is so much I love about French culture.
.-= Jennifer Margulis´s last blog ..Founder and CEO of SheWrites.com coming to Ashland, Oregon next weekend =-.
Twitter: DonnaLHull
says:
Very interesting read. I always enjoy a peak into someone’s life. I appreciate Alexandra’s honest look at an American in France.
.-= Donna Hull´s last blog ..Win a copy of Fodor’s The Complete Guide to Caribeean Cruises Plus an Adaptor Set on the Travel Bloggers’ Caravan =-.
Twitter: FrugalKiwi
says:
I know for personal experience some of the challenges of being an expat. But doing that where you don’t communicate in your native language takes things to a whole new level. What an adventure!
.-= Frugal Kiwi´s last blog ..World Famous In NZ Since AGES Ago =-.
It was so nice to read about life in France. I found myself yearning for a good glass of wine and a hunk of cheese as I read this. I think that just might be my dinner tonight. I especially loved the description of the film culture. I WISH we had that here!
.-= Alisa Bowman´s last blog ..Why I’m a winner! =-.
I enjoyed Alexandra’s interview and her perspective of the country and the time she was there. Where Alisa found herself yearning for a hunk of cheese, all I could think of were the amazing pastries we ate when we visited my brother and sister-in-law, who live on a converted barge in the south of France. That and the wonderful flea markets!
.-= Meredith Resnick – The Writer’s [Inner] Journey´s last blog ..How I Write Today: Susan Johnston =-.
Twitter: urbanmusewriter
says:
Great interview! I haven’t read French Graffiti, but it sounds a bit like Fly Me to the Moon, which is another great book about an American’s life in France. I do remember that after returning from a summer abroad in the UK, American cheeses just couldn’t quite measure up!
.-= Susan Johnton´s last blog ..Dust Off Those Story Ideas =-.
This was so interesting! Our children are bilingual (Japanese/English) and I’m particularly interested in knowing more about your children – where they live now and which culture they identify more with. We’ve been living in Japan for the last 4 years and since we don’t watch TV our children have gotten all their English from us and from what they read. Interestingly, my son’s best friend here is French and it has made him long to learn French and visit there someday.
.-= Christine at Origami Mommy´s last blog ..Nostalgia =-.
I have often dreamed of living there, with our family, for at least a year. I spent months living in Quebec city as a child (pre english) and have been lucky enough to be bilingual. (My family is from Quebec city) But it is so much easier to learn it when you are forced into it (and a child). Such a nice dream.
.-= Claudine M Jalajas´s last blog ..What I REALLY Want for Christmas =-.
Oh, I am getting nostalgic for Paris just reading this. It’s so funny that when you’re in a foreign land you can be homesick for home, but when you leave you’re homesick for France! It’s all or nothing when you choose the place you live, I guess…
.-= Katherine´s last blog ..Loss and Secrets and Paying It Forward =-.
So interesting! I love hearing about others’ experiences living overseas, since I hope to do that myself one day. Another great source of expat experiences is David Lebovitz’s blog!
Wonderful interview, Vera.
Jeanine